Why
by Lizwontcry
Summary: Based on Grissom's quote in Cool Change, God, Sara, I have so many unanswered whys... GSR.


**A/N - This is just one of those things that hit me the 347th time I watched Cool Change. I like it, I hope you will, too. And thanks again to GSFanatic, the queen of betas. Also, I don't own anything, but you probably already knew that.**

SO MANY UNANSWERED WHYS

She didn't know why. She wasn't sure what the motivation was to leave everything behind in California to start a new life in Las Vegas. Well, that was a lie. She knew perfectly well why. It was because he asked her to.

He didn't know why. He didn't understand what happened to Holly. He didn't know why Warrick let it happen. Jim Brass wasn't the supervisor anymore and he didn't really understand that, either. There was a long list of people he could ask to come in and investigate the Holly thing. He didn't know why he asked her when she wasn't on the list. Well, that was a lie. He knew perfectly well why. He would just never admit it to anyone, least of all himself.

She didn't know why she was always trying to impress him, but she did it anyway. If she couldn't get his approval, she didn't want anyone else's.

He didn't know why she asked him to tape her up. But he liked it.

She didn't know why she kept talking about the mile high club, but she couldn't seem to shut up about it. And he seemed to like it.

He didn't know why she thought he didn't feel anything. He felt too much. He wanted to show her just how much, but there would be time for that later. Now wasn't the right time.

She didn't know where he was going with this talk of diversions. She had a diversion; she just didn't want to tell him about it. Besides, she thought he knew in his heart what her diversion was, but it wasn't time yet to do anything about it. So that gave her a new diversion. Unrequited love was a diversion, right?

PICKLES

She didn't know why he was electrocuting her pickle, but he always looked so damn sexy when he was doing an experiment that sometimes she wished _she_ was the experiment. She didn't really mind that he took her pickle. She didn't like pickles much, anyway. She did like him.

He didn't know why she was rubbing chalk off his face, but it intrigued him. It was more then a simple touch and neither of them could deny that anymore. The question was, what was he going to do about it? Probably nothing. At least for now.

She didn't know why he didn't know she was a vegetarian. She didn't know why he didn't respect her. She didn't know why she had such strong feelings for a man who had no idea what she stood for. And she didn't know why he wouldn't just approve her leave of absence. He obviously didn't need her.

He didn't know why she thought she wasn't needed. The lab needed her. And he needed her. He never could say those words to her, though. He didn't think she'd want to hear it. He was too old for her, anyway.

She didn't know what he was talking about. Did he mean that she was beautiful, or that he noticed that she liked beautiful things and she helped him see those things, too? Just when she was ready to give up, there was that little gem. Oh, and why did he send her a plant again? He was the most confusing man on the planet. And the sad part was, she loved that about him.

He didn't know where he was walking. He didn't know why he was walking anywhere. But he felt drawn to walk in this direction, and he just thought it was his instincts taking over on the case. But when he got to his destination, she was there. And he suddenly knew why he was walking.

THIS

She wasn't sure when she'd given up on him, but she did. She wasn't sure where this new relationship with Hank, the EMT, was going, but he was nice. A little boring, a little flakey, but still nice. A woman had needs, and the man she wanted to fulfill those needs was incapable of it. So, a little "diversion" had been necessary.

He didn't know anyone saw what happened that day. He read the transcript of her day in court and saw how that bitch Marjorie Westcott was trying to set her up. It hadn't been an innocent touch, that was true, but did the girl have to be punished for it? Wasn't it punishment enough that she was dating this dull, soulless EMT guy? What did she see in that guy anyway?

She didn't know why he paged her on her day off. She was trying to enjoy the day with her boyfriend. It really had been a nice day; she wasn't used to all this romantic stuff and she found herself liking it more then she thought. But the way he was acting...it was exasperating. Couldn't she just have one day of peace?

He didn't know why he paged her on her day off. Well, he did know. But he didn't want to think it was because of that.

She did know why. She was dumb, that's why. She was reluctant to trust Hank at first, but he wore down her defenses. She was actually excited to have feelings of love for another man, it showed that she was finally moving on. But she was the other woman, and it was over before it really started. It was a relief, really. She saw herself giving only person what was inside of her, and he wasn't it. Not that he wanted to be; she was the other woman.

He was attracted to Heather. She was strange and exotic and he wanted to know more about her world. She showed it to him, and then it was over. It was a relief, really...he saw himself giving only one person what was inside of him, and she wasn't it. Not that she wanted to be, not after he said stop.

She didn't know why she was following him that day, really. Perhaps she wanted to ask the question she'd been rehearsing in her head for weeks. If he said yes, that would be good. It would be interesting. They could finally get down to the bottom of it. If he said no, well, then at least she'd finally know.

He didn't know why the lab exploded. He only knew she was sitting on the curb, looking dazed and confused. He rushed over to her, and when he saw she was bleeding, he called her Honey and sent her off to the EMTs. And then, later...he said no. He didn't know why he said no. He wanted to say yes. But there was still time. He always had time.

BUTTERFLIES

He didn't know why he pinned her down, even when she asked him. She could have just as well explained rather then showed him what happened. It was intense and uncomfortable and he woke up in a cold sweat because of it for the next month. If it was that intense without even really touching, what would it feel like to really touch her? He couldn't even imagine.

She didn't know why she asked him to pin her down. She could have just as well explained rather then showed him what happened. But she asked him, and he did it. Being that close to him made her nervous. Him slowly grazing her arm on the way down made her horny. So she over talked, and then it was over and nothing happened. Again.

He didn't know why this woman, Debbie, had gotten into his head. She looked just like her, that was for sure, but why would that even matter to him? Why was he staring at her like he was trying to see right through her? Why was he giving this obviously guilty doctor his whole life story? Why had he bottled these feelings up for so long that he was starting to go a little insane because of it? He wasn't sure, but there was one thing he was sure about: he let himself get too deep, he let himself fall too hard, and now there was no way he could deny the intense feelings he had for her. But he still didn't do anything about it, and he didn't know why.

She didn't know why he was staring at her. She wasn't sure why she felt he could see right through her. She couldn't understand why he was so...obsessed with this case. Until she looked at the woman while getting her toe prints, she had no idea what she looked like. And then it all became clear. And then she listened to him tell his whole life story to an obviously guilty man, and she finally had her answer. But she still didn't know why.

He didn't know why she was withdrawing from him; from everyone. He didn't know why she wore sunglasses when most of the time it was dark outside anyway. He didn't understand why she didn't look at him the way she used to. He didn't know why that hurt as much as it did.

She didn't know why she didn't use more caution. And she didn't know why the officer had to call him. And she didn't know why he didn't give her a lecture or even just fire her and be done with it. Instead he took her hand and told her he'd take her home. She didn't know why he was being so nice to her, but she appreciated it more then anything in the world.

HARVESTING

She didn't know the difference between worried and concerned, but at least he was one of them. At least he was something. That was different.

He didn't know why they were having a discussion on alternative lifestyles; it was the most personal conversation they'd had in a long time. She said if you had to go outside of the marriage for passion, you were in trouble. And he tried, oh how he tried, to not think about the passion he had for her, and how if they were married, he'd make sure she'd know about it. Every day.

She didn't know why she always over talked around him, but there she was, doing it again. She told him he was the reason she came to Vegas. She told him he'd always been more to a boss to her. And he was going to say something, but she cut him off. She didn't want anything out of pity.

He didn't know why he couldn't say the words. "Come to dinner with me." It was so simple, and he didn't know why he couldn't just say it. She'd been so vulnerable the night he took her home, and now she was making great strides to improve herself and her career. He wanted to talk to her. And he didn't know why he just didn't do it.

She didn't know why she let it all out. She didn't know why she was missing her mom so much. She didn't know why it felt so good to stand up to her co-workers. And she didn't know why she was so happy to see him standing at her door. But she did know why she told him about her past. He deserved to know. And it was relief that someone finally did.

He didn't know why he didn't come to her apartment sooner, but he finally did. But he did know why he wanted to hold her so badly after she told him about her past. He did know why he wanted to make it all go away. He did know why he wanted to kiss her tears away. He was just going to have to do something about it now.

She didn't know why she was being attacked, but she did know he was going to save her. It took him a lot longer than she hoped, but he did, in his own way. She saw something in his eyes she'd never seen before, and while she wasn't sure why, she had a suspicion. She just hoped he was going to do something about it.

He didn't know exactly when it was he decided he needed to kiss her. He didn't know why he picked that exact moment to kiss her. Maybe it was because they were at the hospital and feeling a little out of touch with reality after what happened to their beloved coworker. But he did know it felt exactly right and things would never be the same...thank God.

She didn't know when it was he decided to kiss her. After so many years of wanting something she could never have, she'd recently given up the hope of it ever happening. But it did, and she didn't know what would happen next. She didn't know why, but she knew it felt right. She still had so many questions, but he answered most of them what that first kiss.

THERMITE

She didn't know why he thought she was smothering him. It was new and interesting and not easy, and she was just trying to figure out the rules. But she wasn't smothering him. She was giving him as much room as he needed. Which, it turned out, was apparently a lot.

He didn't know why she thought he thought she was smothering him. They were talking about the case, weren't they? He loved spending time with her. He didn't know why she didn't know that.

She didn't know why the hell he was going on and on about thermite. Did he really enjoy boring everyone like that? In reality, most of the time she would have thought that was cute. But she was irritated with him at the moment, and she wanted to tell him to shut up already. So that's why she said what she did.

He didn't know what she meant by that. She was acting a little irritated with him lately, but he wasn't sure what her damn problem was. He was glad they were in this together, but they hadn't yet managed to figure out how to have a relationship with each other yet. It was frustrating, and he didn't know why they couldn't just be together.

She didn't know why Hodges was doing that to his head, but she found it amusing. So amusing, she let out an unguarded comment. He looked at her like she'd just revealed their biggest secret, but Hodges was none the wiser. He actually thought she was complimenting him.

He didn't know why she said that to Hodges. He waited weeks to finally let an unguarded comment out himself. When he told her he was good at mouth to mouth, the look on her face gave him way too much satisfaction.

She didn't know why he said that, but she made him prove it to her later. He was right.

He hadn't told her about Heather. And when Heather needed his help, he was there. He didn't tell her what happened, and she didn't ask. He didn't know why he didn't tell her. And he didn't know why she didn't ask.

She wasn't sure she understood this fantasy business, but it seemed to be doing a little something for him. Caprice really seemed to throw him for a loop. It was like he knew all their secrets, something the rest of their friends and co-workers hadn't yet managed to figure out. She didn't know why it turned him on the way it did, but the way he was looking at her...she didn't care why, she only cared when.

He didn't know why he couldn't just lock the door and have his way with her on the table after everyone else left. Who would know? All this talk about fantasies, and the way she'd been looking at him all day...he didn't care why, he only cared when.

She didn't know why it had to happen to Brass, their friend and co-worker, and she was worried about it. But it seemed to bring out the domesticated side of him, and so it brought out the more nurturing side of her. And in the end, when everyone turned out to be okay, he rewarded her in his own way: she could finally leave her toothbrush and some underwear over at his house for when she spent the night, which used to be rare but was now happening more often.

He didn't know why it brought out the needy side of him, but it brought out something interesting in her he hadn't noticed before. Or maybe he did notice but he didn't notice he noticed it. He didn't know why he hadn't noticed, either way, and now he was going to try to make it up to her.

I'LL MISS YOU

She didn't know why he gave her that burger right in front of Warrick. Warrick had his own issues, but it wasn't like he wouldn't notice the subtle gesture. They'd been so careful for so long, and she was worried he almost blew it.

He didn't know why this miniature killer did what they did, but he was fascinated by this new development. The killer paid such close attention to detail that it intrigued him to the point of obsession.

She didn't know why he was so fascinated with this miniature killer person. Hadn't he ever seen a serial killer before? She was intrigued by it, too, but she didn't let it consume her life. She was too consumed with him to let that happen.

He wasn't sure if this guy did it or not, but the biggest question was why someone would do it all. Oh, great, and now he was coming down with a migraine.

She didn't know why it frustrated her so much that he wasn't happy to see her after her long, agonizingly boring day in court. But it did. And she wondered what was going on inside that brain of his, what he was thinking about, because it was probably not the same thing she was.

He didn't know why he was so consumed by everything but what was really important. Maybe taking a sabbatical would be the answer to the problems he seemed to be having, or maybe it would cause more problems. He needed to go, though, and he was afraid to tell her.

She didn't know why he was afraid to tell her he was leaving. She already figured it out by the time he told her. And it was okay with her. If that's what he needed to clear his head; for him to come back to her and stop obsessing, well, that was okay. She'd see him when he got back.

He didn't know why he felt like he needed to be away from her, because now that he was, all he wanted to go was go back. All these students reminded him of her. Everything reminded him of her. So he sent her a cocoon. He wrote her a letter. But he didn't call her. And he didn't even send the letter. He did not know why.

She didn't know why he never called her. She didn't know why he didn't send a letter with that damn cocoon. There was so much drama going on without him there that she didn't have time to really think about it. But when she did, she still didn't know why.

He didn't know why she just wouldn't stand still. It was the first time they'd seen each other in a month and he wanted to talk to her. He wanted to touch her, to kiss her, to show her how sorry he was that he left her behind. But was she going to let him?

She didn't know why he had to pick that moment to find her. She was smelly and gross and it was the worst possible moment. However, he didn't seem to mind. But she kept backing away because she didn't want him to see her (or smell her) like this after such a long time. She wanted the upper hand, and smelling like a garbage dump was not going to help.

He didn't know why she was crying. She helped give that girl peace before she died; wasn't that enough? He knew she couldn't see what he saw. He saw how she tried to give peace to the girl's murderer before she found out who he really was, because she wanted everyone to have peace of mind, and he loved that about her. He loved her. He just hadn't figured out how to tell her that.

She didn't know why he didn't send her that letter while he was gone. It would have been a great comfort to her. But she did know it was beautiful, and it meant a lot because she knew it was hard for him to write. He was so romantic when he wanted to be. She loved him. And she was just waiting for him to say it before she did. It didn't make sense, but she was going to wait. Why she even had to wait, well, she didn't know why but she didn't question it. He'd do it in his own time, just like he'd done everything else.

He didn't know why he was drawn to Heather again, but he considered her a friend. She needed his help, whether she knew it or not. And so he helped her, and it was over. There was no reason to be jealous. But jealousy hung over the case, all over it, and he couldn't help but wonder who was jealous of whom.

She didn't know why he was drawn to Heather again, but it was okay. Sure, she wasn't exactly thrilled about it, but he was coming home to her. She didn't really have a reason to be jealous. She didn't know why she was.

He didn't know why this happened to her, of all people. She was the best person he ever knew. And he told her that as soon as she woke up after being unconscious for a ridiculous number of hours. He told her that, and he told her he loved her. He told her that she was the only person he'd ever loved, in fact. He told her that he'd been in love with her for a long time. He also told her that he still had many unanswered questions, but the one that counted the most finally had an answer.

She didn't know why this happened to her. When she was under that car, she knew he would find her. She knew he wouldn't stop until he found her. She held on until she heard his voice, and then she passed out. And she woke up to him saying he loved her, and she knew it would be okay. She still had so many unanswered questions, but the one that counted the most finally had an answer. 


End file.
